identity crisis

I have some questions. They are not new questions and some might say they are stupid and unoriginal questions. And I might not argue with them. But this is my blog, my forum, my space. It’s about me, my face, my book, my face book. I am linkedin to you and you to me.  All this white space just waiting to be filled with words. What ever words I want.  I can express myself freely, and with different fonts, whatever font reflects my mood, and colors. I can color my words (or I could if I knew what CSS was and how to edit it). I can even insert a picture. And we all know that a picture says a thousand words. So there’s a time saving tip right there.

So here is my question: If I blog and no one comments does my blog still exist? Do I exist? Assuming I do, does my worth depend on how many followers I have? Because I only have one follower that I know of.  And if my goal is to have fans, or better yet a fanpage, with enough fans to fill the whole page, then first I think I need a lot of followers. And why I am included in the tabulation of followers. Of course I follow my own blog, or do I? Any way, I’m kind of afraid to ask people to follow me because I’m really not sure where I’m going. And with the world web being so wide and all, there could be a lot of lost people wandering around cyberspace looking for their spacebook page.  Have you had enough of the word play yet?

And I’m just going to ask the really stupid question here: What the F is twitter?  I mean is it like the internet; a series of interconnecting tubes that delivers important messages to my in box and on rare occasions recognizes the difference between an invitation to my friend’s party and an invitation to increase the size of my penis or speak with Russian hotties? And by the way, it’s going to take a lot of those pills to increase the size of my penis. You people are really barking up the wrong tree, but here’s my husband’ s email address:

I’m not hooked up to twitter yet. Oh, I know you don’t have to get hooked up, it’s linkedin right? Whatever, I’m not “doing” twitter. I don’t have that much to say. I can hear you saying “Are you sure, Sarah? It seems like you do have have that much to say.” I guess you’re right, but updating my status, I don’t know…As it is I hardly ever update my status on facebook. And I never go near linkedin. That place scares me. It’s so professional. Ok, every once in while someone will invite me to linkup and then I’ll go just to be nice, but once I’m there I have no idea what to do with myself. I can only update my education so much.  And If I hang around there too long I start updating my marriage status (maybe that’s facebook yeah, that’s facebook). I’m single now, in case you’re wondering. But if you’re interested act quickly because I’ll probably be married again later today. It just depends on my mood and how much free time I have.

Back to twitter, I guess I can see the value. It would be nice to be able to get information out to a bunch of people at once. It would certainly save me the trouble of individually telling my family,friends and fans (I almost forgot my fans. It’s bad to forget your fans, that much I know)  that the constipation issue I was having last week (probably bacon related) has resolved itself and things are moving along nicely. Is that too long for a twitter? How many tweets in a twitter? Constipation takes up a lot of room. Whats the abbreviation for constipation? Too bad I don’t have light bladder leakage because I learned how to deal with that one from a commercial. It’s LBL.  And it’s just right for those times when you don’t want to take the time to write, or text or say ” I just came from the doctor and she told me I have light bladder leakage.” “How is that different from mild bladder leakage? You ask. “I don’t really know. It’s a subtle difference, but I’m just really glad I don’t have HBL”.  Hey, I just had a good idea. I’ll come up with all these abbreviations (I know that’s not the right word,”abbreviations”. I know there’s a term for texting slang, but it’s not “slang” either. What is it? I feel so old) for the over 5o crowd. Because we are always talking about our bodies, and not in a good way. And when you get to be my age you can easily suffer from LBL after you LOL.   OMG! Am I right?

Please comment on this post so that I know that I exist.

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13 responses

  1. i just found you from a link laura davis gave. I’m a follower now! and i’m not doing twitter either. I just started a blog around the same time as you and have similar wonderings…

  2. Fan, schman! That’s a little fake Yiddish for you, since tomorrow is Passover and I have been making matzah ball soup all afternoon and evening.

    But what I was trying to say is, of course people love your writing!

    (was I the one fan you were talking about?)

    • I know you are a fan, but I only have two official followers on my facebook page. One of them is me. And this is amusing as I didn’t know I could follow myself. Do you follow? You can make it three if you go to my facebook page. Happy soup making.

  3. i still refuse to join facebook, but i will be checkin in on your blog from time to time, when my peri-menopausal brain reminds me to do it, that is….

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